i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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