Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
