she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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