i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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