All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I need to align my fucking chakras
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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