If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
