Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize