Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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