I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
