I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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