If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
not ubering you a puppy
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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