I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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