I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
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She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
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I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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