Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
