dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
