We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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