I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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