And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Hippo gnu deer
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
