im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Randomize
