I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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