listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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