Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
