soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize