Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
