I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Randomize
