Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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