My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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