you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
