i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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