And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
