It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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