I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
