Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
