Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize