Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
