Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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