We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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