If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
