Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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