i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
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all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
