Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
