i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
