Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize