Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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