I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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