I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
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its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Floor bacon is actually really good
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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