The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
