I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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