I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
