Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
