I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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