I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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