just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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