oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
