We won't sleep together?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
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