even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
