ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
