Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
