You're completely useless in the revolution.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
