put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
