I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
