I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
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